While peering through the back pages of a then-recent (June '00) issue of Rolling Stone, a classified listing for one particular hard- to-find music service caught my shifty eye. "Send wanted lists," it read in part. Following that mandate, I began to construct a 50-count of missing pieces from my music-collection puzzle.
Among my sought-after adjoiners: Died Pretty's Lost (Jangly depressives from Down Under way. Ian Curtis fronting Tom Petty's Heartbreakers?), Kings Of The Sun's Full Frontal Attack (Their preceding album's lead track, "Serpentine," accidentally found its way onto a mixed tape I made as a 15-year-old. AC/DC meets John Cougar Mellencamp?), The Brandos' Honor Among Thieves (Another early teenage discovery. CCR as Civil War re-enactors?), and Bulletboys' Freakshow (Word-of-mouth recommendation from a friend. The new "old" Van Halen?).
After organizing my wanted items in a concise manner, I dropped the sealed text in the closest USPS box. That was on 6/10/00. The Record Detective was so eager to assist in my searches and promptly replied back on...3/20/01! Their letter began: "Thank you very much for your interest in our 'detective' work in tracking down those hard-to-find pieces of music! We can locate and purchase for you the following items, at the prices marked next to each. Prices include everything but the postage and handling costs, which are listed below..." Total amount due for the four discs I previously mentioned (including postage and S&H): $120.00.
What these slow-on-the-draw Sherlock Holmeses didn't know was, in the nine months it took them to open my case, I'd already solved the Mystery of the Missing Four. Those discs had been playing hide-and-seek in 20-stack pawn-shop piles, on computer-auction sites, and under alphabetized-CD dividers at out-of-the-way music shops. Double-lined expenditures by a take-it-upon-myself Kojak came to $35.94.
Who loves ya, baby?
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