It's been a long time since this place has had a show worth seeing. Man, thought I turned into Robert Plant for a second there. Then I'd have to start reviewing shit from the VB Amphitheater. Yeah, naw, Yeah, naw, Yeah...HELP! Ah, I needed that sip of refreshing Natural Light. Maybe I'll be fine the rest of the way.
Manage to polish off the rest of my jug (you sure that's 64 ounces?) in time to catch the opening notes of the Sea Monkeys. At this point, Tuck's is only filled to 55% capacity. Of course, this is because of the "I'm-too-cool-to-see-any-opening-band-I've-never-heard-of-anyway-so-I'll-just-go-later" attitude. Late arrivals suck shit! Before I continue, I'd like to give an AC/DC, 21-gun salute for the thirty or so people who seem to be at every show I attend. Fire! We see yet another cool NYC-area band (whose van is in working order!) play Norfolk. Those who read Rocks Off #5 already know the Sea Monkeys' fondness for costumes ("Flintstones"-like caveman outfits, "Gilligan's Island" stowaway garb, etc.). On this Saturday night, they choose to don gold-and- glittery vests with Muslim headdresses -- Imagine if the shah of Iran moved to England and became part of the early-'70s glam-rock scene. Though all the visual presentation in the world doesn't mean anything if you can't rock. Well, I'm happy to report that the Sea Monkeys do indeed rock in a fun 'n' punk style a la Ramones/Dickies/Weirdos. Their comic approach allows for three-second covers, monkey squeals, glitter projectiles, monkey masks, spilled beer, and forward somersaults! All courtesy of singer Dave The Spazz. Can't say if they offer the same degree of thrills on record, but if we bribe the Sea Monkeys with a ton of burritos and bananas, maybe they'll come back in time to smear leftover turkey-and-stuffing on themselves. Eech!
Lee Harvey Keitel Band are second at the plate and connect with singles up the middle, foul balls in the stands, and an occasional check-swing. They may as well be called Pat Sajak Band, because discussions of "Wheel Of Fortune" break out like brush fires in Malibu during their at-bat. Sample trivia: 1)Who was Sajak's replacement host? and 2)Why did Sajak leave? LHKB remind some sailor from Belgium of Chairs Missing-era Wire, the portion of Fugazi that doesn't suck, and late-'70s XTC when they still had the gumption to play live. Kinda neat stuff if you're in the mood for it, but if I wore one, I'd tip my ball cap to LHKB for getting people to talk about game shows again.
NO! NO! An AOR double-shot of "Heartbreaker"/"Living Loving Maid?" Screw sips this time! I need to stick my mouth under the tap and let "the water" dispense for ten minutes. Thank goodness there are treatment options available.
You may have seen The Candy Snatchers on a talk show recently. Here's a recap: Matt smashed this guy over the head after being asked, "Do you play guitar?", Willy made the entire second row of 40-ish housewives faint by making them believe he was Huey Lewis, and Serge pounded some rock 'n' roll into a Phish Phace cameraman's skull. Just when I was ready to write off Oprah as a Maya Angelou-lackey... Though not as wild as those events, The Candy Snatchers still have a good time. From Larry singing, "I've got no time to waste..." and wondering how many shots $20 will buy, to the three guys that get thrown out for "moshing" (your Anthrax triple live albums are in the mail), this band proves their right to rock remains unchanged. Whether the venue is Tuck's, the Oprah studios, or the Be-Lo Market in the Fairwood Homes section of Portsmouth, you can
count on the Snatchers to tear it up.
Now, where the hell are those goddamn corn dogs?
Manage to polish off the rest of my jug (you sure that's 64 ounces?) in time to catch the opening notes of the Sea Monkeys. At this point, Tuck's is only filled to 55% capacity. Of course, this is because of the "I'm-too-cool-to-see-any-opening-band-I've-never-heard-of-anyway-so-I'll-just-go-later" attitude. Late arrivals suck shit! Before I continue, I'd like to give an AC/DC, 21-gun salute for the thirty or so people who seem to be at every show I attend. Fire! We see yet another cool NYC-area band (whose van is in working order!) play Norfolk. Those who read Rocks Off #5 already know the Sea Monkeys' fondness for costumes ("Flintstones"-like caveman outfits, "Gilligan's Island" stowaway garb, etc.). On this Saturday night, they choose to don gold-and- glittery vests with Muslim headdresses -- Imagine if the shah of Iran moved to England and became part of the early-'70s glam-rock scene. Though all the visual presentation in the world doesn't mean anything if you can't rock. Well, I'm happy to report that the Sea Monkeys do indeed rock in a fun 'n' punk style a la Ramones/Dickies/Weirdos. Their comic approach allows for three-second covers, monkey squeals, glitter projectiles, monkey masks, spilled beer, and forward somersaults! All courtesy of singer Dave The Spazz. Can't say if they offer the same degree of thrills on record, but if we bribe the Sea Monkeys with a ton of burritos and bananas, maybe they'll come back in time to smear leftover turkey-and-stuffing on themselves. Eech!
Lee Harvey Keitel Band are second at the plate and connect with singles up the middle, foul balls in the stands, and an occasional check-swing. They may as well be called Pat Sajak Band, because discussions of "Wheel Of Fortune" break out like brush fires in Malibu during their at-bat. Sample trivia: 1)Who was Sajak's replacement host? and 2)Why did Sajak leave? LHKB remind some sailor from Belgium of Chairs Missing-era Wire, the portion of Fugazi that doesn't suck, and late-'70s XTC when they still had the gumption to play live. Kinda neat stuff if you're in the mood for it, but if I wore one, I'd tip my ball cap to LHKB for getting people to talk about game shows again.
NO! NO! An AOR double-shot of "Heartbreaker"/"Living Loving Maid?" Screw sips this time! I need to stick my mouth under the tap and let "the water" dispense for ten minutes. Thank goodness there are treatment options available.
You may have seen The Candy Snatchers on a talk show recently. Here's a recap: Matt smashed this guy over the head after being asked, "Do you play guitar?", Willy made the entire second row of 40-ish housewives faint by making them believe he was Huey Lewis, and Serge pounded some rock 'n' roll into a Phish Phace cameraman's skull. Just when I was ready to write off Oprah as a Maya Angelou-lackey... Though not as wild as those events, The Candy Snatchers still have a good time. From Larry singing, "I've got no time to waste..." and wondering how many shots $20 will buy, to the three guys that get thrown out for "moshing" (your Anthrax triple live albums are in the mail), this band proves their right to rock remains unchanged. Whether the venue is Tuck's, the Oprah studios, or the Be-Lo Market in the Fairwood Homes section of Portsmouth, you can
count on the Snatchers to tear it up.
Now, where the hell are those goddamn corn dogs?
An early show review from Loose Screws. The 2010 me laments over the zine's presentation and grammatical errors, but the 1997 me was having too much fun to give a damn.
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