Hardee's Chicken Filet Biscuit

A friend of mine I've never met named Shawn once wrote that McDonald's should close their doors after 12 noon, for he felt the breakfast choices were the only edible items posted on the menu board. By and large, this suggestion is agreeable to me, though I've been known to scarf down late-night snacks of Quarter Pounders and fries when they've been priced right at 99 cents. On the other hand, I've avoided dinner time at Hardee's ever since my mom and a friend's madre had gotten extremely sick upon finishing roast beef sandwiches. Until I furnished a "Buy One Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Get One Free" coupon last Thursday, it had been over four years since I'd darkened the doorway amongst the lunch 'n' dinner crowd. Besides tainted meat, two Hanson brother-lookin' (think "Slap Shot," not the MMM... Boppers) jack-offs who had worked at the Kempsville Road location weren't exactly Emerils BAMMING to serve you a meal. From overheard conversations between the two at nearby computer terminals, the Hansons had been:

1)Living behind a dumpster at Woodstock Elementary,
2)Planning a trip out of town to "bang some bitches,"
3)Avoiding court-ordered child-support payments to their exes, and
4)Wondering where they could "score some weed."

Well, they must have acquired new-old beds, married some Jefferson Avenue hookers from Nippert News, paid their kiddies in Fixin's Bar annuities, and sucked on fat doobies, because I haven't seen the bros for damn near 18 months now. Their welcomed absence was my cue to order some "bretfast." Waving yet another 2-for-1 paper slip, I did exactly that.

Unlike the clucker sandwiches I'd resigned myself to intaking, these were carefully prepared by cooks who somewhat give a damn about what they're dishing out. Guess if you have to report to work at 5 AM, you're more likely to take pride in your tasks than two hockey goons passed out drunk on their Mattress Discarders. The chicken pieces were generous and had a pleasing spicy flavor, while the biscuits were warm and flaky. Every bite was an enjoyable one. Surprisingly, they were better tasting than the last two counterparts I'd had at Chick-Fil-A (different poultry stock from their most-famous creation?). I'll oftentimes add a dollop of mayo on the chicken, but I decided against doing so in order to capture the true flavor. With the last several bites, I was satiated, smiling, and ready to go about my day. Not at all a bad deal for $2.41; however, that total was computed with the coupon and sans beverage (I'd brought my own Deer Park water from the homestead). No way would I've forked over $4.38 (plus 10% food tax...in a resort town!) under normal conditions, but I had no problemo with my adjusted-figure meal. As far as Hardee's P.M. chicken offerings go, stick with those found at the "Never on Sunday" establishment.