Listening to both of the American Heartbreak selections ("Too Beautiful" and "Angeline") over twenty times in a row left me wondering why these P.H.D.-ers in rawk ain't on the fuckin' radio. The oomph, hooks and rockin' appeal are all there waiting to be taught, times a million. Think Soul Asylum's "Somebody To Shove," Goo Goo Dolls' "Long Way Down" and "D Generation's "No Way Out" -- remember the goose bumps that formed when you first heard these "lectures"? Prepare to be chilled once again! Darn shame the Heartbreak can't receive at least Veruca Salt-type exposure on the morning announcement airwaves.With the grade 9-12's current fascination for "rape rock" (thanks, Rutledge!), is the real deal gonna stay alive? Ask The BellRays. I mean, "High School" could save the FUBUS from their misplaced identities, with its Saints-esque swagger across them backwards baseball hats. Led by a genuine soul sista belting her pipes in concert with a tight rhythm section, The BellRays could teach the baggy-jeaned learning disabled that R & B doesn't stand for Rhyming & Bullshitting.
Kid, if you ain't heard the Dead Boys by now, just keep on sailing in yer $200 shoe-boats, 'cause there's nowhere to dock. You don't deserve to hear Young, Loud, And Snotty or We Have Come For Your Children or this song "War Zone" dug from the sea chest. Jimmy Zero does a never-heard-him-sing-before vocal turn, backed by music that's very structured and very art-school Britain. But you wouldn't like it, Kid. It ain't "extreme" and doesn't "rage." So long, yo...
Electric Frankenstein were once Instructors of the Year candidates way back in...oh, 1997 or so. The Time Is Now and Conquers The World were both great singles collections that made honor roll students outta everyone (except Kid) who had listened to their Dead Boys/Pagans lesson plans. Ironically, EF would later claim Victory (Records) and be defeated in the process. At least "Razor Blade Touch" somewhat harkens back to the days of lively PTA meetings. Very little of that sealed-with-a-(bad)-KISS-album lipstick imprint which dots some of EF's post-'97 pucker-ups.
El Diablo (Spanish for "Jerry Only") is lightning-fast, Dwarves/Zeke-style stripper music. "You like to shake that ass, that's as sure as shit/You like to shake those big tits for cash..." Welcome to Economics 101, taught by Professor Big Mama Jama.
Toilet Boys are keeping the janitors company. They're Sweet and looking for a KISS, but TB wear a different lip gloss than EF.
History repeats itself. If a pupil is stupid, he repeats history. Libertine is not the first Social Distortion/Psych Furs gang who has walked the halls. Remember Sponge? No? Yeah, you do -- "In a world of human wreckage...well I'm lost and I'm found and I can't touch the sound/I'm plowed into the ground." Does that ring the tardy bell for ya? You're late again. And again. And again. And again.
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