THE LA-DONNAS

The La-Donnas have made two damn good singles and one fantastic album called Shady Lane. If there's any other recorded output, it may be exclusively available in Yugoslavia (i.e., The Humpers' My Machine). Two things are certain about The La-Donnas: 1)They are from Bronco country -- Denver, CO and 2)Madonna made no attempt to court them onto her Maverick label. Guess the only white-boy bands she likes are Candlebox and Rancid.

The Material Girl's loss is Scooch Pooch's gain. Roscoe (vocals/guitar), Stanton (bass), Benson (guitar) and Daniel (drums) pump out their infectious Dickies-meet-Jerry Lee Lewis brand of catchy tunes. The first single ("Long Legs" b/w "Counter Unload" -- both later reprised on Shady Lane) has great snotty vocals and a twist-n-shake rhythm section. Shortly afterward, "Invasion" b/w "End Of The Devil Dogs" was released. Side A (also on the album) is a burner with fast-yet-tuneful vocals, great guitar sound and this spoken-word part midway through: "Benevolent ambassadors from distant galaxies are here to help all of mankind...or are they helping themselves to mankind?" The flip is based on The Mr. T Experience song "End Of The Ramones," with appropriate lyric changes that lament the break up of another NYC-area band. For those lacking turntables, this song also appears on the Scooch Pooch compilation Their Original Sins. Shady Lane is thirteen tracks that win on all three counts of loud, fast and fun. "Feel The Pain," "No Way To Treat A Lady," "Dirty Bird" and "Wake Me" are four of the best numbers. Bands who cover the Lyres and Angry Samoans on a single album are cool by me, and The La-Donnas happen to be one. Both "She Pays The Rent" and "Death Of Beewak" get tapped and stack up nicely to the originals.

Those who saw The La-Donnas' March '97 show at Route 44 in Va. Beach heard a solid run through nearly every track on Shady Lane. Judging by that album's cover, I'd expected them to be dressed in white shirts, skinny ties and sunglasses. No, their clothes were "normal." Well, if you consider a "Dallas Cokeboys" T-shirt to be normal. Think it was Stanton wearing that amusing tee, so I went to him after The La-Donnas had finished playing. "Where did you get that shirt?" I asked. "Some place we played in Austin, TX. They hate the Cowboys down there. I bet they sold seventy-five shirts that night," Stanton answered. Growing up, I was a backer of the Redskins. Though I'm really not a fan of any team right now, I'd definitely wear a "Cokeboys" shirt.

On Shady Lane, fans of The Dickies, Jerry Lee Lewis, Lyres, Angry Samoans and any NFL team EXCEPT the Cowboys are invited to the block party. OK, you Descendents people can come as well. Just don't choke on your coffee if someone decides to pop open a beer.