MY OFF-THE-CUFF LIST OF THE NINETIES' TOP-TEN ARTISTS

1)Sugar
What did Bob Mould do for an encore, after fronting The Greatest Band in Recorded Music History? He formed the best group of the nineties. Husker Du definitely would've continued in this outstanding abrasive-pop direction (Copper Blue took the reflective buzz of Warehouse... a few steps further), had the members not chosen to verbally bitch-slap one another (Actually, it had been Mould and drummer Grant Hart arguing -- Greg'd cooked in a neutral kitchen). Sugar's third and best release (File Under: Easy Listening) surprisingly had a lukewarm response from critics, for whatever bullshit reason. Guess they thought it was time to give Mould an in-print thrashing, after the man had received much praise in the past (Do music journalists have a "good review" quota or something?). FU:EL tanked sales-wise, causing many copies to burn holes in $1.99 cut-out bins. I've personally purchased a dozen or so over the years and doled them out to friends and relatives. Me likes Doolittle and Nevermind just fine, but you've gotta realize that without the Mouldster, there would've been no Black Francis or Kurdt Kobain to speak so highly of.

2)Bob Mould
Caught him on the Black Sheets Of Rain tour in '91 at The Boathouse (Norfolk, VA). Much more expressive on the solo gig than he'd later be in Sugar's set at this same venue. Even threw a couple of Husker acoustic-bones at his dawgs in the crowd ("Makes No Sense At All" made perfect sense unplugged!). "I Hate Alternative Rock" (from his self-titled, third solo effort) expressed Mould's feelings regarding the treatment he had received from the higher-up suits in the music biz ("The twentieth century/has not been particularly kind to me..."). Sad that a big push was made for a fuck like Edwin McCain (Meatloaf -- The Second Helping), yet a proven winner such as Bob was left on the outside looking in. The '90s solo statements, like Sugar, mixed the signature Mould guitar (copped by many, many axe-slingers) with some folksier elements, a la his Workbook from '89. In short, Bob has proven to possess every ounce the talent (and then some) of a Neil Young or Tom Petty, if not the name recognition.

3)Buzzcocks
Made the Lunachicks and Down By Law look like the rank amateurs they are, when headlining a triple-bill at Twister's in Richmond, VA (Oct. '99). All three of the Buzzcocks' full-lengths from the nineties (Trade Test Transmissions, All Set, and Modern) were excellent and contained many jewels that shined as brightly as any from past treasure chests: "Isolation," "Do It," "Totally From The Heart," "Without You," "Speed Of Life," "Choices"...all hooky and witty to the umpteenth power. Though All Set had been promoted by I.R.S. (a huge display/listening station for the album had been set up at Va. Beach's Planet Music), that imprint soon went belly-up, thereby forcing the band to align with Go-Kart Records (who didn't know what the hell to do with the 'Cocks). Embarrassing moment: When my bud jOhn A. (biggest Buzzcocks fan I know, by far) introduced me to Pete Shelley outside Twister's, I thought he was the band's manager. Only later would I discover I'd shaken hands with a legend. Damn, Pete -- Whaddup with the peroxide, man?

4)Jeff Dahl
Iggy Pop and Johnny Thunders rolled into one human being. Ultra Under, Wicked, and Bliss (the man's three best from the '90s) were first purchased by yours truly on cassette for 39 cents each at Camelot inside the goddamned Lynnhaven Mall. Later, I would buy them all on the rich man's 8-track tape. Dahl's records (in whatever format) are every bit the pleasure of In Too Much Too Soon or Funhouse. In fact, Dahl has done Iggy Pop better than Iggy Pop himself for quite some time. Won't catch him stumbling on Avenue B, that's for dang sure. Old enough to be your dad, but biting enough to be your dog. C'mon!

5)The Humpers
Positively Sick On 4th Street was the L.A.M.F. of the nineties. They recorded a bunch of other stuff, too. Not very friendly, but who cares? I don't like smiling either.

6-10)Fuck, man -- this is the nineties we're talkin' 'bout here. Dunno...Cosmic Psychos, The Halfways, Died Pretty, The Donnas, and The Fuses????? Or maybe Goo Goo Dolls, Jakkpot, The Candy Snatchers, The Zillionaires, and The Loudmouths????? Take yer fuckin' pick.....