Wednesday, October 27, 2010

POUR ME A DRINK AND I'LL TELL YOU SOME LIES



Billy Ocean -- Nearly drowned off the coast of Barbados while shooting the video for "Caribbean Queen." You know, "She's simply...awesome/WWWWHEW!/She duck by me and blame it on Jean."

Sting -- Attacked by a swarm of angry bees during The Dream of Blue Turtles recording sessions outside Amnesty International headquarters. Was rescued by pal Peter Gabriel, upon hearing the repeated distress signal of "Sending out an S.O.S."

Neil Diamond -- Passed out in a Los Angeles-area Zales Jewelers when his mistress told him the price of a 14-carat ring. As he regained consciousness, "Love on the rocks/Ain't no big surprise/Just pour me a drink/And I'll tell you some lies" were the first words whispered to his lady friend.

Whitney Houston -- Walked out on 68,175 fans at The Astrodome with her sudden refusal to play another show in Texas. Among those in attendance were Loose Screws staffer jOhn A., who wore a "Shoot Me" T-shirt advertising her new single.

Eddie Money -- Filed for bankruptcy after his poorly attended State Fair tour. Plans to re-do "Two Tickets to Paradise" with the following lyric changes: "I'm gonna take you on a trip not far from here/I've got two dollars in my pocket now, baby/We're gonna get some beer."

Billy Idol -- Fan club disbanded after finishing last in a "Whom do you most admire?" poll conducted by Seventeen magazine. Will record his next album, Generation Next, on a popular rollercoaster (Rebel Yell) at King's Dominion.

Iggy Pop -- Gave up carbonated beverages in 1969, citing health reasons. Wrote a testimonial soon afterward: "It's 1969, okay/I just quit drinking soda today/Another year for me and you/Think I'll drink a Yoo-hoo."

Ringo Starr -- Joined a little group called The Beatles after flunking an astronomy course at Cambridge University. Lost a lawsuit against Little Debbie, when it was pointed out to him that Star Crunch snack cakes are spelled with one "r," not two.

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